


To See With Eyes Unclouded

by whatthedubbs



Series: The Legend of Ashitaka [1]
Category: Mononoke-hime | Princess Mononoke, Sen to Chihiro no Kamikakushi | Spirited Away, Tales from Earthsea - Fandom
Genre: Because I can, Boy!San, But I'm editing it so I promise it'll be better, I named the wolves, M/M, San is pretty androgynous, So I made her a guy, Storyline was written on the 13-hour flight back from China in 2009, THIS IS PREPOSTEROUS, WHY DOES THIS FANDOME ONLY HAVE 13 FICS?, back when I was in 10th grade so hush
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-03-05
Updated: 2013-03-05
Packaged: 2017-12-04 10:28:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,098
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/709733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whatthedubbs/pseuds/whatthedubbs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Iron Town is rebuilt and the forest is restored after the death of the forest spirit.  But things are not over yet for Ashitaka and San.  Far from it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>--</p>
<p>AU in which San is a boy and Ashitaka is confused.</p>
            </blockquote>





	To See With Eyes Unclouded

Ashitaka awoke to a soft clicking noise.  Sitting up quickly, his eyes swept over the nearly-bare room he had to himself on the outskirts of the re-built Iron Town.  There, just inside the doorway, was a small, glowing figure.  A Kodama.

"Hello, little one," he whispered gently, a smile breaking across his face.  San only asked the Kodamas to find him when he wanted to see Ashitaka.

The Kodama tilted its perpetually grinning face to the side and clicked again, before simply fading into the background. 

Ashitaka lay awake a long time after it had disappeared.

 

* * *

 

"San!"

His lungs were on fire, just like the mark on his arm and chest that was slowly killing him.  Still, he pounded on, running beside the younger of Morro's cubs.  And then he saw it.  The monstrous bull, it's body drenched in blood and covered in writhing worms, flanked by empty boar skins from which he could catch glimpses of the monk's red robes.  _And the briefest flash of white skin among the carnage on the boar's skin._

"SAN!"  He dove forward, throwing himself into the mass of blood-colored tentacles and ripping his way through to where the boy lay unconscious.  He gasped in horror when he saw the same tentacles wriggling out of San's pale skin, and grabbed at the boy's arms, trying to pull him away.  _  
_

"No!"

 

* * *

 

He woke with a start, panting heavily, body drenched in sweat.  Morning light was streaming under the mat that covered the door. There was no blood.  No dirt.  Nothing to be afraid of.  _Just a dream,_ he reassured himself, taking a few deep breaths to calm his racing heart.  Rubbing at his eyes with the heel of his palm, he rolled off his pallet on the floor and began his morning exercises.  As he began stretching his sleep-lax muscles, he tought about his encounters with San since the restoration of the forest.  

They confused him, if he was honest with himself.  Their parting after the forest spirit had died had been full of unsaid promises and significant looks.  But since then, every interaction he'd had with the boy had been...stilted.  Overly propper.  Even abrasive.  They weren't enemies, but he got the feeling that they hadn't become friends, either.  Whenever he mentioned it to Toki, she just smiled at him and ruffled his hair and told him he'd understand eventually.  He sighed and straightened up, running his fingers through his hair.  _I guess I get another chance today,_ he mused, picking up a wet rag from the washbasin by the door and wiping the sweat from his body.  

He stepped outside a few minutes later, clad in his slightly faded blue tunic and sleeves.  The sun was out finally, after a few days of rain, and the earth smelled wet and new in his garden.  He did his daily weeding and trimming, his mind pleasantly empty as he performed the tasks that he had been performing every day now for almost three months.  It was so very different from his life before the curse and his journey, but it was satisfying and helped him feel pless like what he was: an outsider.  Despite the best efforts of the people of Iron Town, he was still accutely aware of his own identity, of his upbringing and the traditions he had been taught, and he longed for someone to talk to who shared those with him.  Hard work and routine kept the feelings of abandonment and homesickness at bay.

 

* * *

 

It was late in the morning when he finally left the small compound where he lived.  He had taken his time getting ready for his journey into the woods to find San, making sure his sword was clean and sharp and his bowstring free from rot.  

He left the town through the small wicket gate near his home, taking Yakul with him.  Once he was a short ways into the trees, he mounted the red elk and, whispering a soft command into the animal's ear, set off for the deeper parts of the forest.  Before long, the sounds of Iron Town and the lake were swallowed up by the silence between the trees.  Yakul's hooves clopped over the occasional boulder as they climbed higher up the mountain, but otherwise there were no sounds besides the song of the birds and the rustling of the leaves.  

Ashitaka didn't bother trying to guide Yakul to a specific place.  Instead, he simply let the elk pick a direction and let him walk.  San would find them.  His brothers, the wolves, would track him down and bring San to him if he was patient.  

Sure enough, after about an hour of gentle riding, there was a rustling in the undergrowth, and San appeared up ahead of them, his head cocked to one side like a bird.  Yakul stopped in his tracks, and then advanced at a slower gait, pushing his nose into San's chest and making a snuffling noise in greeting.  The wolf boy smiled at the elk and rubbed a hand over the soft hair on Yakul's neck before turning his eyes on Ashitaka.  The former prince noticed that the boy's smile lessened somewhat as their eyes met, but he pushed the observation out of his mind and slung himself down off the elk's back.  

"You can go home if you want, Yakul," he said to the elk, stroking his flank gently.  "I'll be all right."

The elk turned its head and gave him a disbelieving look.  San snorted.

"He doesn't believe you," the boy said, staring Ashitaka in the face.

"I know that," Ashitaka retorted tensely, once again not sure why San was acting so...cold.  "Yakul and I have known each other for a long time.  We know each other's expressions well enough."

"Hmmm."

Ashitaka sighed.  "You wanted to see me about something?"

San didn't respond, just continued to pet Yakul's rust-colored coat.  

"San?"

He looked up, as if he was startled by Ashitaka's presence.  "What?"

Ashitaka groaned internally.  "You sent a kodama.  Didn't you want to see me?"

"I didn't send a kodama to you," San replied in an indifferent voice.  He didn't look up at Ashitaka, just continued to stroke Yakul and stared into space.  "I never have, actually.  The kodamas do what they please."

"But... I thought..." Ashitaka was confused.  Why had San told him that he sent the Kodama the first time?  Had he even _wanted_ to see Ashitaka again?  Was that why he had been so cold recently

"I lied."

San looked up at him finally.  The boy's eyes were defiant.  


End file.
